The bra

Today I went bra shopping with my little girl.  It was for me, but I thought that since she is half me, she might end up as me, and therefore she should know how to properly size her bra.  Every woman, should at some point in her life, be properly sized.  Trust me, you most likely are not.

You can walk to any store and I can point out at least one person who is not properly supported.  And to some extent it isn't always her fault.  A good bra will cost you.  But a good bra is sooooo worth it.

Side note:  I can also always pick out a tupe.  How do you ask?  I used to work for Hairclub for Men.  It's one of my sad little past experiences that now helps bring humor to my day when I spot one.

Back on track.  I am a little busty.  No I will not tell you my size, because you wouldn't believe me, and it's not a size of enjoyment.  

If you think being busty must be fun, try buying a dress that fits you properly at your bust and your waist at the same time.  That is why God made my alterations lady.  When I go shopping, I look at that price tag, and I add $$ to it to cover alterations.  This is why I love t-shirts.

And lets not forget the divots.  That's the groove in your shoulder from your bra strap that looks ugly and feels bad from the weight of your tata's.   Of course if you buy your boobs at 30, you're less likely to get the divots I would think.  I mean, I'm 40, developed at 11 or 12, so I have carried these babies for almost 30 years already.  You're just starting out.  And does silicone weight as much as real boobs.  Maybe there's a bit of helium in them and that's why they look like they're placed so far up.

It saddens me to see a lady who is not properly supported.  You just want to walk over and push them up and say, here, here is where they are supposed to be, not down there, you silly goose.  But I guess that could get you arrested.

Really they do not belong below your elbows.  No they don't!  They even have a term for this...yes it's your projection point.  And what is your projection point?  Yes, I had to ask.  It is where your breasts point (or not).  This should be in the middle between your shoulder and your elbow.  For some this is not so easy.  If you are small, and your projection point is perfect...SHUT UP!

On my hunt today I needed a strapless bra, for some dresses I bought.  I bought them because they are cute.  I normally would not buy anything I couldn't wear a normal bra under, because I don't want my "projection point" to be off.

So after the lady brings me my bra, I put it on.  This is a little difficult since my surgery, but my daughter came to the rescue.  We are very close and she is a doll.  Some girls might be embarrassed, but not my girl.  I think she's keeping score somewhere and there will be payback for this.

End result...good per the fitting lady, but I asked if there was a way to put them "up here".  I'm showing her while holding my boobs up to show where I would like them to be.  She just stared at me.  I even think she wanted to shake her head in despair, but probably thought better of it, didn't want to lose the sale.  I could have sworn I heard a little gasp and OMG from the little girl behind me too...

I come to find out that strapless bras will hold you in place, not push you up.  This is why they invented plastic surgeons.  Good thing I have one of those!

I bought the bra, because I needed it, and I'm not droopy in it, just not pointing as far north as I would have preferred.

I told my daughter I was seriously considering a breast reduction for next year.  She told me to shut up!  I guess saying such things in public is faux pa...either that or she is tired of being my nurse-maid since my tummy tuck.  Maybe in a couple of months and some serious mother-daughter shopping excursions she will forget and think a boob job would be just what momma needs!