We all do it. Don't deny it. When you see that young lady walking past all dressed in black with multiple piercings, you judge, I judge, we all do it. It's the way we are.
Yesterday I went to see my tattoo artist for some work and I took my daughter with me. She proceeded to tell me of the piercings she was going to get before she turned 18. My husband told her to wait until she turned 18 and then she could do whatever she wanted. I tried to explain to her to keep in mind that corporate America judges you and she doesn't know what she want to be yet. Major eye roll on all points, but she's smart and she understood.
So we compromised, her ears needs re-piercing, ok I can do that. She wants 2nd holes and 3rd holes, and a bar oh and a nose pierce. Oh boy! I feel some major compromising coming on. Although she did see a girl get a belly button pierced and the girl cried so I thought, bingo! She sees girl crying and no more piercings. Shit! I forgot for just one second who we were talking about. My daughter proceeds to tell me that she wouldn't cry. She's tough. Great...
It's not that i mind so much the piercings. Well, the nose bothers me. All I can think of is buggers stuck up in there and that grosses me out. What I do mind is I don't want people to judge my little girl. She is such a sweet young lady and I don't want this to deter people from getting to know her.
So why do we judge others so much. Whether they are too skinny, to fat, hair too red, boobs too big. It seems we just can't get past our looks.
A skinny blond with big boobs, we think stupid. A brunette with glasses, we think dork or geek. A redhead, well she's gotta have a temper. Oh and that one with all the tattoos, well if it's a girl she might be a slut or party girl and the boy, he's only trouble....where do these ideas come from?
I know...you're not gonna like it. It's not all the movies or music. It's our parents! Yes, I'm blaming my momma! Or at least you can look to your family and see where your judgements come from.
If you say it's the movies I'm going to ask you why you are watching them, better yet, why are you letting your kids watch them. And why aren't you talking to your kids about them later. Be it music or movies. Why don't you talk to your kids???
As children we hear our parents talk about others and we are swayed by their opinions. When you are children they tell you how to dress, they brush your hair. They tell you what doesn't look good and what does. And if your parents are worried about looks, well then, you are really in for some major opinions and judgements. I think we as parents can so easily forget the influences we have over our children, good or bad.
Ok so this is just my theory. But it's a good one.
But I think we should break the cycle of judging. And this is hard because I'm very opinionated and crap falls out of my mouth like I have tourettes. When my kids were little I let them dress themselves. And this was not always with good end results. My oldest boy would wear cowboy boots with everything including swim shorts. My daughter would never wear an outfit together, always mixing and matching. When she was about 4 it was so bad that I made her a button. It was her "special" button that said "I dressed myself today". It had smiley face and I told her it told her it was her it meant I was proud of her. And I was. I mean she looked silly bordering on ridiculous, but I liked the fact that she had her own opinion and that she knew what she liked and expressed it. She still does to this day. Could care less what others think of her. That makes me proud, even if she should dress a little more girly (eye roll again).
Not only should we all care a little less of what others think of us, and we should certainly care less about how others look. Try not to judge.
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